So I’m long overdue for an update, and I felt like I should share what God has been doing in my life in the past year. Last summer I came home for from Dallas, Texas for the last time. In the two years prior to then I have been living in Dallas for months at a time working with a program called EXCEL and then later on Advanced EXCEL. EXCEL stands for Excellence in Character, Education and Leadership, and is a program geared towards high-school aged girls. It is a very intense course and is a time for the girls to be away from a lot of distractions and to draw closer to God. During those two years Dallas had become like home to me and the others leaders and staff there were as close as family. So when the school shut down last year it was difficult to say good-bye because of all the relationships I had formed. But most of all it was difficult to leave because the environment there was very positive and encouraging, and that was because we all had the same mindset and focus. We were seeking to know our Heavenly Father on a deeper level and encourage these younger girls to do the same. We were pouring ourselves out daily but we were also being filled from His word and those around us.
Don’t get me wrong I was excited to come home and be with my family but at the same time I found it hard to see my purpose at home. In Dallas I felt like I had a purpose, and just couldn’t see why God was sending me back home, why I had to leave and why the school had to close. At the time it was hard to see what nowhere Virginia has to offer and what God’s plan for me there was. Everything has a season and my season in Dallas had come to an end and my season at home had begun. To be completely honest the first few months I was home were the hardest because I had only been back for a month or two while I was in Dallas. Once I was settled into life back home I was thrown a curve ball, my Dad asked me to go to trade school as an apprentice and get my Journeyman’s Electrical license, I was a little apprehensive at first because I’ve always had a heart for the world and wasn’t sure how this would fit in with ‘my plans’ even though they weren’t my plans. But I agreed and was signed up for class, trusting that God had a plan in all of it (which He always does), and figuring out that my plans aren’t always His plans. In reading Isaiah I was reminded of this, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9
My first year of electrical school, was a little rough because I was in a class with twenty-seven guys and none of which (that I knew of) were Christians, except my younger brother (who was also taking the class). It was a complete shock and was completely opposite of where I had been for the past two years. My life had changed from teenage girls who were avidly seeking the Lord to construction workers who didn’t care and used choice words in every sentence. After a very trying year God revealed to me a small part of why He had put me there. He put me there to try me, to see if I was willing to stand up for Him and not be shaken by the things of the world. Did that happen? I honestly don’t know, I feel like there were times His glory was shown and others where I hid my light. Although, one of the biggest things that hit me at the end of that year was that during that time I was spending two hours every night of class with my sixteen year old brother, and we would encourage each other and just talk about what was going on in our lives and what God was teaching us. If I had not gone to class then I would not of had that time with him, and got to know what God was teaching him. It was also really encouraging to have him with me in class and see him not give into what the other guys were doing. If the only thing I got out of the class that year was the time spent with my brother then it was worth it. I wouldn’t trade that for anything and I only wish I had realized it sooner and had taken advantage of the time. Thankfully God has given us this fall and I now have a new perspective going into it.
Over the summer I had been blessed with the opportunity to reconnect with old friends, I spent a week on a cattle ranch in New Mexico with a close friend of mine who I met on a missions trip to Southeast Asia a few years before. We talked and remembered all the good memories and everything God did on that trip and really talked about why we went and if we could ever see ourselves going back. We both had different answers and reason why or why not, but during that time with her my heart began to stir to go somewhere again. The flame in my heart for the world had been rekindled. Then came the dilemma, after returning home from New Mexico I was ‘thrown’ back into working all the time. Our company had been going through a rough time and they needed everyone to work long hours and we didn’t get much time off and because of that and other circumstances I didn’t think I would be able to go on the missions trip with our church that summer. But God made a way and provided the funds and I went along with three other ladies from our church to Clarkston, Georgia.
My first thought was, “God? Georgia? Really? We’re still in America.” But God had bigger plans, we went to Clarkston not knowing what to expect and the first day we were there the organization we were with took us to a Muslim temple, the second largest Muslin temple in America! I was dumbfounded. I didn’t know what to think as we took the tour of this beautiful and elaborately carved white stone building. I was struck by house beautiful it was on the outside but once we went inside it felt so full of darkness and my heart began to break for the people inside who were throwing themselves before these idols and worshiping them. God was showing me yet again, that His heart is for all people from your neighbors, to those just a few states away to those on the other side of the world.
God also used the time in Clarkston to break the box I had been in and really pull me out of my comfort zone. He kept ‘poking’ me and saying, “You say you want to live for me, you say you’ll go anywhere I ask you to, but will you tell others about me? Will you be bold?” I was saying, “Yes” in my heart but I kept shaking my head “No.” I was afraid of being rejected, and God used a trying experience to change my heart. Our main goal in Clarkston was to find and minister to refugee families, half our group would work with the children and the other half would go to different apartment complexes and work with the adults. I was in the group that went to the apartments and I felt like a soldier shaking in my boots because I had no idea what to say or do. But the first two days we went through the apartments and no one answered their doors (which as scared as I was it really depressed me because I didn’t feel like I was doing anything). But last day, the one door that was opened to us was a Nepali woman who welcomed us in and she turned out to be the ‘spokes person’ for most of the Nepali refugees in the area. But I believe that it took those few days of closed doors to prepare me and teach me that God’s plans are bigger and I need to trust Him. He has equipped me for the fight and I shouldn’t be cowering in my boots. I need to step out in faith and trust Him.
One of the main things that God taught me during my time in Clarkston was that, He planted that desire for the world in my heart and has been using all these different experiences to prepare me for what He has in store. He has brought to life the verse in Acts One, “But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth.” Acts 1:8 It has taken a lot of time but I am finally starting to understand and see that yes God has given me a desire for the world but until then he has called me to be a missionary right here, in America, in my hometown. Because If I don’t love my neighbor enough to tell them or am not bold enough to speak to a stranger who speaks my own language then how am I going to be bold enough to tell someone on the other side of the world? I am still learning and growing and praise God that He’s not finished with me yet. And that He is 'Semper Fi,' 'Always Faithful'. He has started a work and will be faithful to complete it in His perfect time, and for His glory.
“Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel, For which I am an ambassador in bonds: that therein I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.” Ephesians 6:18-20
