No Longer Bound

The Mission Field In Our Backyard

2011-10-23T19:02:00.000-07:00

When I first heard the words "Missions Trip" and "Clarkston, Georgia" in the same sentence I almost said no. When I thought of missions I always thought of the other side of the world, ministering to people who 'need me' or 'need help.' But in doing that I overlooked the thousand of people in my own 'backyard.' People that had never heard the gospel.

Clarkston is known as the, 'Most diverse square mile' because of all the different people groups that live there. People that our government has allowed to be located there as refugees. Most of the people you encounter there are from war-torn countries or have been oppressed by their government, trying to escape and many of those who come here are randomly selected to live in the states, where they are given barely enough to get by and left on their own after a few months.

I had the privilege, alone with three other ladies from my church to spend a week in Clarkston, and it was nothing like we had expected. On most missions trips you are going into a single culture and a certain group of people, but in Clarkston we were immersed numerous cultures, and numerous languages.

One of our assignments while we were there was to teach English classes (ESL) to Internationals within the apartment complex in which we stayed. We would split up into groups of two or three and go into the apartments and have one-on-one classes. My group was assigned to the home of and Ethiopian couple and their son, who had not been there very long and were quite eager to learn English. We would teach English by building on what others had taught before us, and sought to shine a light and share our story when possible.

The children in the community were fearless, and had never met a stranger (or so it seemed). As soon as we stepped out of the car that first day we were swarmed with curious faces and small hands grabbed our and drug us toward the playground or a bench to talk. They would melt your heart with one smile.

Most of the children we interacted with were from Eritrea, Somalia, Nepal, and numerous other places around the world.

And they always had a smile for you

But you had better watch out if they saw that you had long hair, because it didn't matter if it was up in a pony tail or not, they would take it down and put as many tiny braids in it was you would let them.

We also worked with interns while we were down there, they had the same goal as us down there except instead of just being there a week the interns lived in the apartments for the summer and facilitated a lot the ministry's going on down there.

One of their big missions was to go out into other apartment complexes and find refugee families, because the ministry desires to help them but unless they know where they are there is no way to reach them.

In order to find refugees we again split up into groups and would go door to door in the apartment complexes and 'search' for them, and would take a survey or who was an American and who was a refugee, what their needs were, etc.

During this survey we encountered people from Nepal, Jerusalem, Ethiopia, Somalia and many other countries.
One major thing that stuck out to me during out time in Georgia, was that the second largest Hindu temple in the states is in Georgia.

We think that since we are in the states we are safe from influences of other religions or that we are mostly Christians. When in reality we have temples to other gods in our own 'backyard.' Beautiful white structures, but on the inside is feels dark and empty.
Like this temple so beautiful and put together on the outside and yet filled with darkness within, as are so many people we interact with everyday. We can all look like we have it together but what's really on the inside? Is there darkness or light?

What are we doing to reach those in our own backyard? It doesn't have to be in Georgia or another state, it's your neighbor next door, or someone at work. Are you setting a Godly example to those around you? Do you care about those close to you enough to tell them of the reason for the hope that is in you? What is your story? And are you ready to share it with whoever asks?

This Past Year

2011-09-27T17:01:00.000-07:00

So I’m long overdue for an update, and I felt like I should share what God has been doing in my life in the past year. Last summer I came home for from Dallas, Texas for the last time. In the two years prior to then I have been living in Dallas for months at a time working with a program called EXCEL and then later on Advanced EXCEL. EXCEL stands for Excellence in Character, Education and Leadership, and is a program geared towards high-school aged girls. It is a very intense course and is a time for the girls to be away from a lot of distractions and to draw closer to God. During those two years Dallas had become like home to me and the others leaders and staff there were as close as family. So when the school shut down last year it was difficult to say good-bye because of all the relationships I had formed. But most of all it was difficult to leave because the environment there was very positive and encouraging, and that was because we all had the same mindset and focus. We were seeking to know our Heavenly Father on a deeper level and encourage these younger girls to do the same. We were pouring ourselves out daily but we were also being filled from His word and those around us.

Don’t get me wrong I was excited to come home and be with my family but at the same time I found it hard to see my purpose at home. In Dallas I felt like I had a purpose, and just couldn’t see why God was sending me back home, why I had to leave and why the school had to close. At the time it was hard to see what nowhere Virginia has to offer and what God’s plan for me there was. Everything has a season and my season in Dallas had come to an end and my season at home had begun. To be completely honest the first few months I was home were the hardest because I had only been back for a month or two while I was in Dallas. Once I was settled into life back home I was thrown a curve ball, my Dad asked me to go to trade school as an apprentice and get my Journeyman’s Electrical license, I was a little apprehensive at first because I’ve always had a heart for the world and wasn’t sure how this would fit in with ‘my plans’ even though they weren’t my plans. But I agreed and was signed up for class, trusting that God had a plan in all of it (which He always does), and figuring out that my plans aren’t always His plans. In reading Isaiah I was reminded of this, “For my thoughts are not your thoughts, neither are your ways my ways, saith the LORD. For as the heavens are higher than the earth, so are my ways higher than your ways, and my thoughts than your thoughts.” Isaiah 55:8-9

My first year of electrical school, was a little rough because I was in a class with twenty-seven guys and none of which (that I knew of) were Christians, except my younger brother (who was also taking the class). It was a complete shock and was completely opposite of where I had been for the past two years. My life had changed from teenage girls who were avidly seeking the Lord to construction workers who didn’t care and used choice words in every sentence. After a very trying year God revealed to me a small part of why He had put me there. He put me there to try me, to see if I was willing to stand up for Him and not be shaken by the things of the world. Did that happen? I honestly don’t know, I feel like there were times His glory was shown and others where I hid my light. Although, one of the biggest things that hit me at the end of that year was that during that time I was spending two hours every night of class with my sixteen year old brother, and we would encourage each other and just talk about what was going on in our lives and what God was teaching us. If I had not gone to class then I would not of had that time with him, and got to know what God was teaching him. It was also really encouraging to have him with me in class and see him not give into what the other guys were doing. If the only thing I got out of the class that year was the time spent with my brother then it was worth it. I wouldn’t trade that for anything and I only wish I had realized it sooner and had taken advantage of the time. Thankfully God has given us this fall and I now have a new perspective going into it.

Over the summer I had been blessed with the opportunity to reconnect with old friends, I spent a week on a cattle ranch in New Mexico with a close friend of mine who I met on a missions trip to Southeast Asia a few years before. We talked and remembered all the good memories and everything God did on that trip and really talked about why we went and if we could ever see ourselves going back. We both had different answers and reason why or why not, but during that time with her my heart began to stir to go somewhere again. The flame in my heart for the world had been rekindled. Then came the dilemma, after returning home from New Mexico I was ‘thrown’ back into working all the time. Our company had been going through a rough time and they needed everyone to work long hours and we didn’t get much time off and because of that and other circumstances I didn’t think I would be able to go on the missions trip with our church that summer. But God made a way and provided the funds and I went along with three other ladies from our church to Clarkston, Georgia.

My first thought was, “God? Georgia? Really? We’re still in America.” But God had bigger plans, we went to Clarkston not knowing what to expect and the first day we were there the organization we were with took us to a Muslim temple, the second largest Muslin temple in America! I was dumbfounded. I didn’t know what to think as we took the tour of this beautiful and elaborately carved white stone building. I was struck by house beautiful it was on the outside but once we went inside it felt so full of darkness and my heart began to break for the people inside who were throwing themselves before these idols and worshiping them. God was showing me yet again, that His heart is for all people from your neighbors, to those just a few states away to those on the other side of the world.

God also used the time in Clarkston to break the box I had been in and really pull me out of my comfort zone. He kept ‘poking’ me and saying, “You say you want to live for me, you say you’ll go anywhere I ask you to, but will you tell others about me? Will you be bold?” I was saying, “Yes” in my heart but I kept shaking my head “No.” I was afraid of being rejected, and God used a trying experience to change my heart. Our main goal in Clarkston was to find and minister to refugee families, half our group would work with the children and the other half would go to different apartment complexes and work with the adults. I was in the group that went to the apartments and I felt like a soldier shaking in my boots because I had no idea what to say or do. But the first two days we went through the apartments and no one answered their doors (which as scared as I was it really depressed me because I didn’t feel like I was doing anything). But last day, the one door that was opened to us was a Nepali woman who welcomed us in and she turned out to be the ‘spokes person’ for most of the Nepali refugees in the area. But I believe that it took those few days of closed doors to prepare me and teach me that God’s plans are bigger and I need to trust Him. He has equipped me for the fight and I shouldn’t be cowering in my boots. I need to step out in faith and trust Him.

One of the main things that God taught me during my time in Clarkston was that, He planted that desire for the world in my heart and has been using all these different experiences to prepare me for what He has in store. He has brought to life the verse in Acts One, “But ye shall receive power, after that the Holy Ghost is come upon you: and ye shall be witnesses unto me both in Jerusalem, and in all Judaea, and in Samaria, and unto the uttermost part of the earth.” Acts 1:8 It has taken a lot of time but I am finally starting to understand and see that yes God has given me a desire for the world but until then he has called me to be a missionary right here, in America, in my hometown. Because If I don’t love my neighbor enough to tell them or am not bold enough to speak to a stranger who speaks my own language then how am I going to be bold enough to tell someone on the other side of the world? I am still learning and growing and praise God that He’s not finished with me yet. And that He is 'Semper Fi,' 'Always Faithful'. He has started a work and will be faithful to complete it in His perfect time, and for His glory.

“Praying always with all prayer and supplication in the Spirit, and watching thereunto with all perseverance and supplication for all saints; And for me, that utterance may be given unto me, that I may open my mouth boldly, to make known the mystery of the gospel, For which I am an ambassador in bonds: that therein I may speak boldly, as I ought to speak.” Ephesians 6:18-20

Love Me - JJ Heller

2011-01-16T19:52:00.000-08:00

He cries in the corner where nobody sees, He's the kid with the story no one would believe
He prays every night, "Dear God won't you please...
Could you send someone here who will love me?"

Who will love me for me
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me
'Cause nobody has shown me what love
What love really means

Her office is shrinking a little each day
She's the woman whose husband has run away
She'll go to the gym after working today
Maybe if she was thinner
Then he would've stayed
And she says...

Who will love me for me?
Not for what I have done or what I will become
Who will love me for me?
'Cause nobody has shown me what love, what love really means

He's waiting to die as he sits all alone
He's a man in a cell who regrets what he's done
He utters a cry from the depths of his soul
"Oh Lord, forgive me, I want to go home"

Then he heard a voice somewhere deep inside
And it said
"I know you've murdered and I know you've lied
I have watched you suffer all of your life
And now that you'll listen, I'll tell you that I..."

I will love you for you
Not for what you have done or what you will become
I will love you for you
I will give you the love
The love that you never knew

When Everything Goes Wrong...

2010-05-05T20:43:00.000-07:00

Do you ever have those days where you feel like everything is going wrong? Where you think it would be better if you just went back to bed, pulled the covers over your head and slept everything away? When everyone wants something from you and you are being pulled fifty different directions? Today was one of those days, I was at work, and nothing was going right, I didn’t feel like I could do anything else, and I felt like I would cry. It was at that moment that the song, “Savior, Please” by Josh Wilson came on the radio…

…I would like to share the song with you along with some thoughts of my own… the song lyrics are in BOLD and my thoughts are in Italic…

Savior, Please – Josh Wilson

Savior, please take my hand
I work so hard, I live so fast

(This sounds so much like my life right now, always on the go and never stopping)
This life begins, and then it ends
And I do the best that I can, but I don't know how long I'll last

(I am giving all that I have and I am wearing out, I can’t do it much longer, I feel like my life is passing my by and before I know it, it will be gone)

I try to be so tough
But I'm just not strong enough

(I put up a front of being strong and tough, but I am realizing that I am not as strong as I thought)
I can't do this alone, God I need You to hold on to me

(I feel like I a toddler who is learning how to walk, I just keep falling and falling, I am at the point of tears and I stretch my arms up for You to pick me up)
I try to be good enough
But I'm nothing without Your love

(I try in and of myself, but I can’t do it alone, I can’t do it without You)
Savior, please keep saving me

(I need You)

Savior, please help me stand
I fall so hard, I fade so fast

(I feel like all I do is fall, again and again)
Will You begin right where I end

(I am at the end of myself, I cannot go anywhere else, will You take me?)
And be the God of all I am because You're all I have

(You are ALL that I have, ALL that I am)

Hallelujah
Everything You are to me
Is everything I'll ever need

(You are everything I ever needed!)
And I am learning to believe

(I am learning, slowly but surely)
That I don't have to prove a thing

(I am accepted for who I am, I do not have to prove anything to You)
'Cause You're the one who's saving me

(You are my hero, You make my bad days good, You bring the smile back onto my face, You keep saving me)

As I listened to this song and thought over these thing, I did all I could not to cry right there in the warehouse. I realized that I was trying in and of myself to do things and be someone that I was not meant to be. That I was doing things in my own fading strength that He was waiting to do in His unending strength. He was waiting for me to realize that He’s been there waiting to be, my hero, my strength, a shoulder to cry on, a helping hand ready to life me up, a joke to make me smile, my Savior, and ALL that I need.

My Lord, Savior, and Father is the one who takes the days when everything is going wrong and makes it right. He pulls the covers off my head and assures me that there is a plan even in the hard days. And reassures me that I don’t have to be everything to everyone, because there is only one person that He wants me to be, He wants me to be His and His alone. Today God took my bad day and made it new. Yes, I did allow myself to be miserable but I didn’t have to be that way, it’s your choice, how will you chose to live your day? Will you look to Him when you can’t do anything else?

Or will you look at yourself?

People...

2010-03-26T12:24:00.000-07:00

"I Know All Those People...

...I Have Friendly...

...Social...

...And Criminal Relations...

...With The Whole Lot Of Them."

Quote by Mark Twain

TRUST

2010-03-20T09:21:00.000-07:00

He who trusts in himself is lost. He who trust in God can do all things.

Alphonsus Liguori

Strength

2010-03-09T07:58:00.000-08:00

“My strength is as the strength of ten, because my heart is pure.”

Alfred Lord Tennyson

Stained Glass Masquerade

2010-02-24T09:40:00.000-08:00

Is there anyone that fails, Is there anyone that falls,
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small,
Cause when I take a look around, Everybody seems so strong,
I know they’ll soon discover

That I don’t belong

So I tuck it all away, like everything’s okay
If I make them all believe it, maybe I’ll believe it too
So with a painted grin, I play the part again
So everyone will see me the way that I see them

Are we happy plastic people, Under shiny plastic steeples, With walls around our weakness, And smiles to hide our pain, But if the invitation’s open, To every heart that has been broken, Maybe then we close the curtain, On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone who’s been there
Are there any hands to raise
Am I the only one who’s traded
In the altar for a stage

The performance is CONVINCING
And we know every line by heart
Only when no one is watching

Can we really fall apart

But would it set me free, If I dared to let you see
The truth behind the person, That you imagine me to be

Would your arms be open
Or would you walk away
Would the love of Jesus
Be enough to make you stay

Well if the invitation’s open
To every heart that has been broken
Maybe then we close the curtain
On our stained glass masquerade

Is there anyone that fails, Is there anyone that falls
Am I the only one in church today feelin’ so small
Casting Crowns

What Is A Fireman?

2010-02-15T09:52:00.000-08:00

He is the guy next door - a man's man with the memory of a little boy. He has never gotten over the excitement of engines and sirens and danger.

He is a guy like you and me with wants and worries and unfulfilled dreams.

Yet he stands taller than most of us.

He is a fireman.

He puts it all on the line when the bell rings.

A fireman is at once the most fortunate and the least fortunate of men.

He is a man who saves lives because he has seen too much death.

He is a gentle man because he has seen the awesome power of violence out of control.

He is responsive to a child's laughter because his arms have held too many small bodies that will never laugh again.

He is a man who appreciates the simple pleasures of life - hot coffee held in numb, unbending fingers - a warm bed for bone and muscle compelled beyond feeling - the camaraderie of brave men - the divine peace and selfless service of a job well done in the name of all men.

He doesn't wear buttons or wave flags or shout obscenities.

When he marches, it is to honor a fallen comrade.

He doesn't preach the brotherhood of man.

He lives it.

Author unknown

MY LITTLE SISTER

2010-02-12T07:57:00.000-08:00

MY LITTLE SISTER

I Don't know where to start,

because I don't know when there will be an end.

Almost all of my life we've had each other.

We've laughed together,

Cried together,

Yelled at each other,

And lied to each other.

But there is another thing, too.

I'm not so blind to see,

How much you are like me.

In my heart I know that everything I do,

Will somehow have an effect on you.

I try so hard to always set a good example,

But I know in the past I have given you bad samples.

Life isn't easy,

And when it's not,

I wanna be there to guide your way with you.

When I'm torn between choices,

I always wonder how each one might effect you today.

I know there've been times when maybe I did the wrong thing,

But now I can really see just how careful I need to be.

You'll make mistakes,

Take the wrong road instead of the right,

But don't ever let people tear you down,

Always put up a fight.

Most of all I want you to know,

That no matter where I am,

What I'm doing,

Or who I'm with,

If you are in trouble in life,

I'll drop everything, and be there in seconds to give you my advice.

I want to say I will end this message with something special,

But it would be a lie,

Because there will never be an end,

What we have together will never die.

Poem by Kristine Anna Usselman

Live and Learn

2010-02-09T14:33:00.000-08:00

“I don’t think much of a man who is not wiser today than he was yesterday.”

Abraham Lincoln

UNDONE

2010-02-04T13:32:00.000-08:00

Song by MercyMe

Dream Big

2010-02-01T09:10:00.000-08:00

The future belongs to those who believe in the beauty of their dreams.

Eleanor Roosevelt

Magnificent Seven

2010-01-29T13:00:00.000-08:00

"Few delights can equal the mere presence of one whom we trust utterly."

George MacDonald

Happiness

2010-01-27T19:25:00.001-08:00

It is not how much we have, but how much we enjoy, that makes happiness. –Anonymous

Heal The Wound

2009-08-26T19:46:00.001-07:00

I used to wish I could rewrite history

I used to dream that each mistake could be erased

Then I could just pretend

I never knew me back then

I used to pray that You would take this shame away

Hide all the evidence of who I've been

But it's the memory of the place You brought me from

That keeps me on my knees

And even though I'm free

Heal the wound but leave the scar

A reminder of how merciful You are

I am broken torn apart

Take the pieces of this heart

And heal the wound but leave the scar

I have not lived a life that boasts of anything

I don't take pride in what I bring

But I'll build an alter with the rubble that You found me in

And every stone will sing

Of what You can redeem

Heal the wound but leave the scar

A reminder of how merciful You are

I am broken, torn apart

Take the pieces of my heart

And heal the wound but leave the scar

Don't let me forget

Everything You've done for me

Don't let me forget

The beauty in the suffering

Heal the wound but leave the scar

A reminder of how merciful You are

I am broken, torn apart

Take the pieces of my heart

And Heal The Wound But Leave The Scar

Song by Point of Grace

How Beautiful

2009-08-10T19:18:00.000-07:00

How beautiful the hands that served

The Wine and the bread and the sons of the earth
How beautiful the feet that walked

The long dusty road and the hill to the cross

How Beautiful, how beautiful, how beautiful is the body of Christ

How Beautiful the heart that bled

That took all my sins and bore it instead

How beautiful the tender eyes

That choose to forgive and never despise

How beautiful, how beautiful, how beautiful is the body of Christ

And as He lay down His life

We offer this sacrifice

That we will live just as He died

Willing to pay the price, Willing to pay the price

How Beautiful the radiant bride

Who waits for her groom with His light in her eyes

How Beautiful when humble hearts give

The fruit of pure love so that others may live

How beautiful, how beautiful, how beautiful is the body of Christ

How beautiful the feet that bring

The sound of good news and the love of the King

How Beautiful the hands that serve

The wine and the bread and the sons of the Earth

How Beautiful, how beautiful, how beautiful is the body of Christ

Photos by Britton Felber and Song by Twila Paris

2009-07-06T19:14:00.000-07:00

I Called Upon The Lord...

...He Heard My Voice...

...He Made Darkness His Covering...

...He Delivered Me...

...Yea, Thou Dost Light My Lamp, My God Lightens Darkness.

-Psalm 18-

Because I Love Her

2009-06-01T20:04:00.000-07:00

This is a beautiful example of God's love, it shows how much He loves us. And all He goes through for us.

I made her - she is different, she is unique, with love I formed her in her mothers womb,

I fashioned her with great joy, I remember with great pleasure the day I created her.

I love her smile, I love her ways, I love to hear her laugh, and the silly things she says and does. She brings me great pleasure.

This is how I made her,

I made her pretty not beautiful, because I knew her heart, and I knew she would be vain... I wanted her to search out her heart, and learn that it would be ME in her that would draw friends to her. I made her in such a way, that she would need me. I made her a little more lonesome than she would like to be... Only because I need for her to learn to depend on Me... I know her heart, I know if I had not made her like this, she would go her own chosen way and forget Me... her creator.

I have given her many good and happy things because I love her. Because I love her, I have seen her broken heart... And the tears she cried alone. I have cried with her and had a broken heart too. Many times she has stumbled and fallen alone, only because she would not hold my hand, so many lessons she learned the hard way. Because she would not listen to my voice...

So many times I have sat back and sadly watched her go her merry way alone. Only to watch her return to my arms, sad and broken. And now she is mine again... I have made her, and then I bought her...because I love her. I have to reshape and remold her... to renew her to what I had planned for her to be. It has not been easy for her or for Me. I want her to be conformed to my image... This is the high goal I have set for her...Because I Love Her.

-Author Unknown-

Photography Scavenger Hunt

2009-05-29T12:58:00.000-07:00

Stapler

This is what happens when staplers decide to take up acting...
Reflections
Reflecting the Sun

Leap
When I think of leap...I think of frog...I think of leapfrog!

Fears
Sitting on the fence, failing to make a difference, being neither hot nor cold

Coffee
Good to the last drop

Time
Time + Work + Filling out a timecard = Paycheck

Squirrel
The only good squirrel is a dead squirrel

White Trash
(No comment...Really)

Date
Advanced Excel Graduation

Police
"Wear your seat belt and do not speed."

Self Portrait
Pretty self explanatory...It's Me!

Making a Statement
FREEDOM

A Memory
So many memories... ask me about it sometime

Green
It just rained and everything is green

A Tool

Useless without a skilled hand

Funny
It's my family... we like to have fun!

Where Childlike Innocence Was...

2009-05-25T18:50:00.000-07:00

Childlike innocence. Is it not amazing how children are pleased with the simplest things in life? How the smallest things bring such joy and happiness. How a game of hide and seek with friends will bring huge smiles to their faces. Somehow, as the years go by we loose that joy, that happiness that we once found in the little things vanishes.
Years pass, and as our lives become busier, we soon forget the little things, those simple joys of life. Thus, we turn to other things. We begin looking for those pleasures that will make us feel as we once did. Though now those pleasures are not so simple, they come with a price.
Alcohol in particular has had an impact on my life, though not through personal experience. Having seen the effects it has upon those I love, many tears have been shed, through the pain and hurt that it has caused. Relationships have been broken and family ties tried.
Strength, love and friends are what it promises, an escape from the pain and worries of life. That is what we all want, right? We want to escape from the hard things. We want to forget them completely. Or for some it is merely a way of life, it is all they know. You do it to be cool, to be part of the ‘in crowd.’ Mainly, you want to feel that childlike innocence once again.
Does alcohol really make that happen? Yes, for the moment you forget the pain, you forget the hurt, but you also forget everything else. You forget what it is that you once stood for. Everything you once believed and thought was right has now been thrown out the window. What are you left with then?
When everything is said and done, what will you say to explain your actions? Why did you do the things you did? The things you do not even remember doing? How did it all start? It did not just happen. It started with one, one sip, one drink and one person wanting to be free. Wanting to live without a care in the world.
Am I saying that one drink is wrong? No, but where is one going to lead you? Do you have the self-control to stop yourself from going all the way? As a personal decision I have chosen not to even have that first sip. It has been offered and I have declined.
Why? Simply because I have see the pain and hurt that alcohol causes; I have witnessed the ones I love go through things they should never have had to. And I know if I take that first step there is no telling where it will lead. I do not know if I will be able to stop.
I thank God for His grace as He has kept me from not falling into alcohol or even having the desire for it. It is only through Him that I abstain from participating in alcohol related ‘pleasures’. His strength and love is all that I need. In Him I have that childlike innocence. What about you? Where is it that you go for strength, or for love?

Music

2009-05-07T19:22:00.000-07:00

Boom, boom, boom, I hear the cars as they drive by, windows down and music blaring. Heads begin bobbing and people turn to see what the commotion is, to see what has influenced them to want to share their music with everyone. Is it the style, beat or possibly even the words that compel them to turn the volume up one more notch?

For me it is the music that draws in, either the beat or style. They grab my attention and rivet it in place, drawing me in deeper and deeper, before I realize it I am singing along, not even thinking about what I am saying. Not thinking about what I am letting influence my life and convert my thinking.

Thinking about it I realize that the “latest and greatest” songs are played over and over again. Before long I am singing them in my sleep because I have heard them so much. Regretfully, I do not always take into consideration the impact that the music I listen to has on my life.

What thoughts do the music I listen to put into my heart and mind? What am I really dwelling on? I do not have an answer for that yet; thus far the only thing pricking at my heart is the lyrics, the words, the words that influence my life and my decisions. Words that have been set to music that somehow seek to ruin my life.

For me realizing what an impact the lyrics have over my life has drastically changed my thinking. It is an ongoing process for me; God is still working in my heart in the area of what music I listen to. Through that knowledge I have been consciously making an effort to seek out only that music that will build up and positively influence my life.

As I am writing, a verse from Philippians comes to mind. In chapter four, verse eight it says: Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Think on these things…

What is it that I am letting in? What message is being sent straight to my heart? Is it going to influence me for good or evil? The choice the falls into the lap of the individual, what will you chose? What will you allow to fill your heart and mind?

The Motions - Matthew West

2009-04-20T15:48:00.000-07:00

This might hurt, it's not safe

But I know that I've gotta make a change

I don't care if I break, At least I'll be feeling something

'Cause just okay is not enough Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions

I don't wanna go one more day without Your all consuming passion inside of me

I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,

"What if I had given everything,instead of going through the motions?"

No regrets, not this time I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind

Let Your love make me whole I think I'm finally feeling something

'Cause just okay is not enough Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

'Cause I don't wanna go through the motions

I don't wanna go one more daywithout Your all consuming passion inside of me

I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,

"What if I had given everything, instead of going through the motions?"

Take me all the way (take me all the way)

Take me all the way ('cause I don't wanna go through the motions)

Take me all the way (I know I'm finally feeling something real)

Take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions

I don't wanna go one more daywithout Your all consuming passion inside of me

I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,

"What if I had given everything,instead of going through the motions?"

I don't wanna go through the motions

Take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions

Thinking over this song, I realize that my life is all to often like this, everyday is just a script that. I go through. Lines that I recite. More than once I have caught myself going through the motions. Doing everything that is expected of a “good little church girl.” Letting everyone think that I am perfect, that I have no faults. When in reality I am just talking-the-talk.

Living only to please others, not giving my all for Him. Making what they say more important than what He has called me to do. Living this way is so easy, blending in rather than standing out. Letting others determine my course instead of God. Simply going through the motions.

Why? Why, do I live this way? How is it that I have let this happen? How is it that something which was once so real, something that was the center of my life has become nothing more than a weekly ritual? I have gone so far from where I once was. I have become a puppet on a string.

Lord, I want to live this life for you. I was to live with your passion and purpose. No more, I cannot do it any longer the motions are taking their toil on me. This life is all about you. Nothing is more important.

Take me Lord take me all the way,

I am coming back to you. I want to walk-the-walk.

The Decision Is Made But What Will The Answer Be?

2009-04-05T19:22:00.000-07:00

Imagine with me, you are walking up the front steps of a courthouse. Down through the long halls until you stop in front of these two huge red oak doors, after listening for a moment you push them both open and walk in to join the others waiting within the doors. What were they waiting for you ask, all these people gathered around you are waiting to see what one persons fate might be.

Perhaps fait may not have been the best choice of words, because what they all really want to see is justice. Everyone is curious to see what will happen to that single person sitting in the front by themselves, the one who has been charged with this crime. But wait they are not alone for long, a man joins them and whispers reassuring words into their ear, that man is their lawyer, the only one who will stand beside them. Why is it he stays you ask, it is because he knows what this person has done but has petitioned the court on his behalf. Suddenly the room falls silent and everyone rises as the judge enters for the second time.

Although we could not see it the judge had been in the back with members of the jury who were reassuring him of the motives behind this person’s actions, and that this person truly deserves death. The court is called to order again and the judge asks the accused to rise and bellows out loud enough for the entire court to hear, “I find this man guilty under the law, but he has been pardoned.” Cheers go up from everywhere in the in the room and at this they turn around to face the crowd, you realize that this person, the accused, is you.

Tragically, not all stories end as this one many are brought into this courtroom and leave in chains. Why is this? It is because they are justified by their actions, they don’t have someone pleading on their behalf. What you do will either condemn you or clear you. On definition of justice that I heard was “someone getting beat up after they did something bad,” my brother shared that wonderful insight with me but he did not really grasp what justice truly is. We don’t realize how it affects our lives everyday. How people watch us and evaluate the things we say and do.

Actually, the reality is that all of us have been in this position, we have all been accused but through Christ’s blood we are no longer condemned under the law. Christ is our lawyer, standing there beside us the whole time. He is continually reassuring us that he has justified us in the sight of the law and even greater in the sight of God. Don’t get me wrong here I am not saying we can do anything and get away with it, there are still laws in place that we must abide by and when they are broken we will be held responsible for our actions and justice will come.

Simply this, Christ came and took all the things that we, that I had done, all those sins which tied me down. I had been convicted and as my brother put it, I was about to get beat up because of what I had done. Justice had been delivered unto me and the final verdict was death. That was until Christ petitioned on my behalf and took the punishment that was rightfully mine, the pain and suffering that I deserved. I am now justified through His outpoured blood. I know what He did and remember it daily, but what about you? Does your heart hurt every time you think of His sacrifice?

Or are you still on death row?

Safe In The Truth

2009-03-26T19:49:00.000-07:00

Words cannot describe the emotions I feel, the happiness that overflows, I am safe and warm, cared for and loved. Emotions begin running wild, I feel as though I am on top of the world. I am safe and secure; nothing can change how I feel. I begin running, dancing even, through the trees and across the brook. Birds are singing their hearts out in the trees, and the sun is casting rays of warmth through the trees.

Joyfully I continue on, my heart singing and feet racing I run without a care further and further away. Higher and higher I go, up the side of a lush green hill, until I reach the top. Blue skies reach from one end to the other, I feel as though I could fly. My heart feels as though it will burst with joy until a sharp pain stabs into it. My mind is suddenly flooded with thoughts, with fear and doubt. I am all to soon reminded of who I was before.

Suddenly the sky becomes gray and darkness begins moving in quickly, the birds have quit singing and the sun refuses to shine. I try to run, to escape but my legs collapse beneath me and I fall to my knees. Rain begins to pours down and mixes with my tears, the stabbing pain in my chest intensifies as I struggle to move. I lay there on the ground for what felt like hours not knowing what to do.

Then from the far side of the clearing I hear my name being called. I raise my head to see this dark figure slowly coming towards me. I open my mouth in an attempt to scream but the words become like cotton in my throat. I can do nothing, as he continues in my direction, laughing to himself and calling to me with his slimy words. I can’t stand it anymore, I want to scream, but the words remain stuck as before. I lift up a silent prayer to my love, a prayer for help and deliverance.

Darkness continues to press in around me, the dark figure is steadily moving closer, and I feel as though I might die, when suddenly two strong arms grab me from behind. Instantly, I recognize those loving, kind arms that are pulling me close. Joy and Peace overwhelm me, as I am now safe and secure. He holds me close to himself and carries me to safety.

Cautiously looking over His shoulder I see the dark figure running as fast as he can manage in the other direction. Fleeing for his life from the presence of truth and justice. I am all to soon overwhelmed with love as He had heard my faint cry for help and had come to take me safely home. I can now remain safe in His arms, His strong, loving arms.

My Chains Are Gone

2009-03-15T12:13:00.000-07:00

Clank, clank, clank, I can still hear them rattling against the walls of my cell. These heavy iron chains firmly clasped around my wrist, digging into the tender skin, a constant reminder of who I am, who I will always be. I am a prisoner who cannot escape.

Time and time again I had tried to break these chains, to rid myself of the shame and guilt. Nothing I can do changes anything, and I still remain a prisoner, that is until the day He came. He was different from the others compassion and love were evident on his face, as he looked at me he began to cry and through the tears asked my why I was still here.

Shocked I turned to him, “still here?” I questioned, what could he have meant? I have always been here, always been bound in these chains. Carefully he picks up one of my hands and then the other, gently flipping them over he reveals the locks, which were not open but gone completely. They were unlocked all along, but how could that be?

As I continued to feel his hand in mine I remembered all that he had done, I remembered the day that he had come and shattered the locks. But this does not make any sense I thought to myself, how could this be? As if reading my mind he showed me the firm hold that I had on my chains. How I felt safe and secure with them on and did not want to let them go.

Tearfully I turned to him with out-stretched arms and asked him to take them off completely. A scream escaped my lips as they were pulled from my wrist and he began to wrap the wounded flesh. Compassion, love and peace were placed where bitterness, hate and anger had been.

He had exchanged my chains of lies for truth and love. Scars still remain and are reminders of what he has brought me through. The hurt and pain will not soon be forgotten. My chains are gone and I have been set free, no matter how many times I might pick up the chains again they can no longer hold me.