Heal The Wound

I used to wish I could rewrite history

I used to dream that each mistake could be erased

Then I could just pretend

I never knew me back then

~

I used to pray that You would take this shame away

Hide all the evidence of who I've been

But it's the memory of the place You brought me from

That keeps me on my knees

And even though I'm free

~

Heal the wound but leave the scar

A reminder of how merciful You are

I am broken torn apart

Take the pieces of this heart

And heal the wound but leave the scar

~

I have not lived a life that boasts of anything

I don't take pride in what I bring

But I'll build an alter with the rubble that You found me in

And every stone will sing

Of what You can redeem

~

Heal the wound but leave the scar

A reminder of how merciful You are

I am broken, torn apart

Take the pieces of my heart

And heal the wound but leave the scar

~

Don't let me forget

Everything You've done for me

Don't let me forget

The beauty in the suffering

~

Heal the wound but leave the scar

A reminder of how merciful You are

I am broken, torn apart

Take the pieces of my heart

~

And Heal The Wound But Leave The Scar

Song by Point of Grace

How Beautiful

How beautiful the hands that served

The Wine and the bread and the sons of the earth
How beautiful the feet that walked

The long dusty road and the hill to the cross

How Beautiful, how beautiful, how beautiful is the body of Christ

How Beautiful the heart that bled

That took all my sins and bore it instead

How beautiful the tender eyes

That choose to forgive and never despise

How beautiful, how beautiful, how beautiful is the body of Christ

And as He lay down His life

We offer this sacrifice

That we will live just as He died

Willing to pay the price, Willing to pay the price

How Beautiful the radiant bride

Who waits for her groom with His light in her eyes

How Beautiful when humble hearts give

The fruit of pure love so that others may live

How beautiful, how beautiful, how beautiful is the body of Christ

How beautiful the feet that bring

The sound of good news and the love of the King

How Beautiful the hands that serve

The wine and the bread and the sons of the Earth

How Beautiful, how beautiful, how beautiful is the body of Christ

Photos by Britton Felber and Song by Twila Paris

I Called Upon The Lord...

...He Heard My Voice...

...He Made Darkness His Covering...

...He Delivered Me...

...Yea, Thou Dost Light My Lamp, My God Lightens Darkness.

-Psalm 18-

Because I Love Her

This is a beautiful example of God's love, it shows how much He loves us. And all He goes through for us.

I made her - she is different, she is unique, with love I formed her in her mothers womb,

I fashioned her with great joy, I remember with great pleasure the day I created her.

I love her smile, I love her ways, I love to hear her laugh, and the silly things she says and does. She brings me great pleasure.

This is how I made her,

I made her pretty not beautiful, because I knew her heart, and I knew she would be vain... I wanted her to search out her heart, and learn that it would be ME in her that would draw friends to her. I made her in such a way, that she would need me. I made her a little more lonesome than she would like to be... Only because I need for her to learn to depend on Me... I know her heart, I know if I had not made her like this, she would go her own chosen way and forget Me... her creator.

I have given her many good and happy things because I love her. Because I love her, I have seen her broken heart... And the tears she cried alone. I have cried with her and had a broken heart too. Many times she has stumbled and fallen alone, only because she would not hold my hand, so many lessons she learned the hard way. Because she would not listen to my voice...

So many times I have sat back and sadly watched her go her merry way alone. Only to watch her return to my arms, sad and broken. And now she is mine again... I have made her, and then I bought her...because I love her. I have to reshape and remold her... to renew her to what I had planned for her to be. It has not been easy for her or for Me. I want her to be conformed to my image... This is the high goal I have set for her...Because I Love Her.

-Author Unknown-

Photography Scavenger Hunt

Stapler

This is what happens when staplers decide to take up acting...
Reflections
Reflecting the Sun

Leap
When I think of leap...I think of frog...I think of leapfrog!

Fears
Sitting on the fence, failing to make a difference, being neither hot nor cold

Coffee
Good to the last drop

Time
Time + Work + Filling out a timecard = Paycheck

Squirrel
The only good squirrel is a dead squirrel

White Trash
(No comment...Really)

Date
Advanced Excel Graduation

Police
"Wear your seat belt and do not speed."

Self Portrait
Pretty self explanatory...It's Me!

Making a Statement
FREEDOM

A Memory
So many memories... ask me about it sometime

Green
It just rained and everything is green

A Tool

Useless without a skilled hand

Funny
It's my family... we like to have fun!

Where Childlike Innocence Was...

Childlike innocence. Is it not amazing how children are pleased with the simplest things in life? How the smallest things bring such joy and happiness. How a game of hide and seek with friends will bring huge smiles to their faces. Somehow, as the years go by we loose that joy, that happiness that we once found in the little things vanishes.
Years pass, and as our lives become busier, we soon forget the little things, those simple joys of life. Thus, we turn to other things. We begin looking for those pleasures that will make us feel as we once did. Though now those pleasures are not so simple, they come with a price.
Alcohol in particular has had an impact on my life, though not through personal experience. Having seen the effects it has upon those I love, many tears have been shed, through the pain and hurt that it has caused. Relationships have been broken and family ties tried.
Strength, love and friends are what it promises, an escape from the pain and worries of life. That is what we all want, right? We want to escape from the hard things. We want to forget them completely. Or for some it is merely a way of life, it is all they know. You do it to be cool, to be part of the ‘in crowd.’ Mainly, you want to feel that childlike innocence once again.
Does alcohol really make that happen? Yes, for the moment you forget the pain, you forget the hurt, but you also forget everything else. You forget what it is that you once stood for. Everything you once believed and thought was right has now been thrown out the window. What are you left with then?
When everything is said and done, what will you say to explain your actions? Why did you do the things you did? The things you do not even remember doing? How did it all start? It did not just happen. It started with one, one sip, one drink and one person wanting to be free. Wanting to live without a care in the world.
Am I saying that one drink is wrong? No, but where is one going to lead you? Do you have the self-control to stop yourself from going all the way? As a personal decision I have chosen not to even have that first sip. It has been offered and I have declined.
Why? Simply because I have see the pain and hurt that alcohol causes; I have witnessed the ones I love go through things they should never have had to. And I know if I take that first step there is no telling where it will lead. I do not know if I will be able to stop.
I thank God for His grace as He has kept me from not falling into alcohol or even having the desire for it. It is only through Him that I abstain from participating in alcohol related ‘pleasures’. His strength and love is all that I need. In Him I have that childlike innocence. What about you? Where is it that you go for strength, or for love?

Music

Boom, boom, boom, I hear the cars as they drive by, windows down and music blaring. Heads begin bobbing and people turn to see what the commotion is, to see what has influenced them to want to share their music with everyone. Is it the style, beat or possibly even the words that compel them to turn the volume up one more notch?

For me it is the music that draws in, either the beat or style. They grab my attention and rivet it in place, drawing me in deeper and deeper, before I realize it I am singing along, not even thinking about what I am saying. Not thinking about what I am letting influence my life and convert my thinking.

Thinking about it I realize that the “latest and greatest” songs are played over and over again. Before long I am singing them in my sleep because I have heard them so much. Regretfully, I do not always take into consideration the impact that the music I listen to has on my life.

What thoughts do the music I listen to put into my heart and mind? What am I really dwelling on? I do not have an answer for that yet; thus far the only thing pricking at my heart is the lyrics, the words, the words that influence my life and my decisions. Words that have been set to music that somehow seek to ruin my life.

For me realizing what an impact the lyrics have over my life has drastically changed my thinking. It is an ongoing process for me; God is still working in my heart in the area of what music I listen to. Through that knowledge I have been consciously making an effort to seek out only that music that will build up and positively influence my life.

As I am writing, a verse from Philippians comes to mind. In chapter four, verse eight it says: Finally, brethren, whatsoever things are true, whatsoever things are honest, whatsoever things are just, whatsoever things are pure, whatsoever things are lovely, whatsoever things are of good report; if there be any virtue, and if there be any praise, think on these things. Think on these things…

What is it that I am letting in? What message is being sent straight to my heart? Is it going to influence me for good or evil? The choice the falls into the lap of the individual, what will you chose? What will you allow to fill your heart and mind?

The Motions - Matthew West

This might hurt, it's not safe

But I know that I've gotta make a change

I don't care if I break, At least I'll be feeling something

'Cause just okay is not enough Help me fight through the nothingness of life

I don't wanna go through the motions

I don't wanna go one more day without Your all consuming passion inside of me

I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,

"What if I had given everything,instead of going through the motions?"

No regrets, not this time I'm gonna let my heart defeat my mind

Let Your love make me whole I think I'm finally feeling something

'Cause just okay is not enough Help me fight through the nothingness of this life

'Cause I don't wanna go through the motions

I don't wanna go one more daywithout Your all consuming passion inside of me

I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,

"What if I had given everything, instead of going through the motions?"

Take me all the way (take me all the way)

Take me all the way ('cause I don't wanna go through the motions)

Take me all the way (I know I'm finally feeling something real)

Take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions

I don't wanna go one more daywithout Your all consuming passion inside of me

I don't wanna spend my whole life asking,

"What if I had given everything,instead of going through the motions?"

I don't wanna go through the motions

Take me all the way

I don't wanna go through the motions

Thinking over this song, I realize that my life is all to often like this, everyday is just a script that. I go through. Lines that I recite. More than once I have caught myself going through the motions. Doing everything that is expected of a “good little church girl.” Letting everyone think that I am perfect, that I have no faults. When in reality I am just talking-the-talk.

Living only to please others, not giving my all for Him. Making what they say more important than what He has called me to do. Living this way is so easy, blending in rather than standing out. Letting others determine my course instead of God. Simply going through the motions.

Why? Why, do I live this way? How is it that I have let this happen? How is it that something which was once so real, something that was the center of my life has become nothing more than a weekly ritual? I have gone so far from where I once was. I have become a puppet on a string.

Lord, I want to live this life for you. I was to live with your passion and purpose. No more, I cannot do it any longer the motions are taking their toil on me. This life is all about you. Nothing is more important.

Take me Lord take me all the way,

I am coming back to you. I want to walk-the-walk.

The Decision Is Made But What Will The Answer Be?

Imagine with me, you are walking up the front steps of a courthouse. Down through the long halls until you stop in front of these two huge red oak doors, after listening for a moment you push them both open and walk in to join the others waiting within the doors. What were they waiting for you ask, all these people gathered around you are waiting to see what one persons fate might be.

Perhaps fait may not have been the best choice of words, because what they all really want to see is justice. Everyone is curious to see what will happen to that single person sitting in the front by themselves, the one who has been charged with this crime. But wait they are not alone for long, a man joins them and whispers reassuring words into their ear, that man is their lawyer, the only one who will stand beside them. Why is it he stays you ask, it is because he knows what this person has done but has petitioned the court on his behalf. Suddenly the room falls silent and everyone rises as the judge enters for the second time.

Although we could not see it the judge had been in the back with members of the jury who were reassuring him of the motives behind this person’s actions, and that this person truly deserves death. The court is called to order again and the judge asks the accused to rise and bellows out loud enough for the entire court to hear, “I find this man guilty under the law, but he has been pardoned.” Cheers go up from everywhere in the in the room and at this they turn around to face the crowd, you realize that this person, the accused, is you.

Tragically, not all stories end as this one many are brought into this courtroom and leave in chains. Why is this? It is because they are justified by their actions, they don’t have someone pleading on their behalf. What you do will either condemn you or clear you. On definition of justice that I heard was “someone getting beat up after they did something bad,” my brother shared that wonderful insight with me but he did not really grasp what justice truly is. We don’t realize how it affects our lives everyday. How people watch us and evaluate the things we say and do.

Actually, the reality is that all of us have been in this position, we have all been accused but through Christ’s blood we are no longer condemned under the law. Christ is our lawyer, standing there beside us the whole time. He is continually reassuring us that he has justified us in the sight of the law and even greater in the sight of God. Don’t get me wrong here I am not saying we can do anything and get away with it, there are still laws in place that we must abide by and when they are broken we will be held responsible for our actions and justice will come.

Simply this, Christ came and took all the things that we, that I had done, all those sins which tied me down. I had been convicted and as my brother put it, I was about to get beat up because of what I had done. Justice had been delivered unto me and the final verdict was death. That was until Christ petitioned on my behalf and took the punishment that was rightfully mine, the pain and suffering that I deserved. I am now justified through His outpoured blood. I know what He did and remember it daily, but what about you? Does your heart hurt every time you think of His sacrifice?

Or are you still on death row?

Safe In The Truth

Words cannot describe the emotions I feel, the happiness that overflows, I am safe and warm, cared for and loved. Emotions begin running wild, I feel as though I am on top of the world. I am safe and secure; nothing can change how I feel. I begin running, dancing even, through the trees and across the brook. Birds are singing their hearts out in the trees, and the sun is casting rays of warmth through the trees.

Joyfully I continue on, my heart singing and feet racing I run without a care further and further away. Higher and higher I go, up the side of a lush green hill, until I reach the top. Blue skies reach from one end to the other, I feel as though I could fly. My heart feels as though it will burst with joy until a sharp pain stabs into it. My mind is suddenly flooded with thoughts, with fear and doubt. I am all to soon reminded of who I was before.

Suddenly the sky becomes gray and darkness begins moving in quickly, the birds have quit singing and the sun refuses to shine. I try to run, to escape but my legs collapse beneath me and I fall to my knees. Rain begins to pours down and mixes with my tears, the stabbing pain in my chest intensifies as I struggle to move. I lay there on the ground for what felt like hours not knowing what to do.

Then from the far side of the clearing I hear my name being called. I raise my head to see this dark figure slowly coming towards me. I open my mouth in an attempt to scream but the words become like cotton in my throat. I can do nothing, as he continues in my direction, laughing to himself and calling to me with his slimy words. I can’t stand it anymore, I want to scream, but the words remain stuck as before. I lift up a silent prayer to my love, a prayer for help and deliverance.

Darkness continues to press in around me, the dark figure is steadily moving closer, and I feel as though I might die, when suddenly two strong arms grab me from behind. Instantly, I recognize those loving, kind arms that are pulling me close. Joy and Peace overwhelm me, as I am now safe and secure. He holds me close to himself and carries me to safety.

Cautiously looking over His shoulder I see the dark figure running as fast as he can manage in the other direction. Fleeing for his life from the presence of truth and justice. I am all to soon overwhelmed with love as He had heard my faint cry for help and had come to take me safely home. I can now remain safe in His arms, His strong, loving arms.

My Chains Are Gone

Clank, clank, clank, I can still hear them rattling against the walls of my cell. These heavy iron chains firmly clasped around my wrist, digging into the tender skin, a constant reminder of who I am, who I will always be. I am a prisoner who cannot escape.

Time and time again I had tried to break these chains, to rid myself of the shame and guilt. Nothing I can do changes anything, and I still remain a prisoner, that is until the day He came. He was different from the others compassion and love were evident on his face, as he looked at me he began to cry and through the tears asked my why I was still here.

Shocked I turned to him, “still here?” I questioned, what could he have meant? I have always been here, always been bound in these chains. Carefully he picks up one of my hands and then the other, gently flipping them over he reveals the locks, which were not open but gone completely. They were unlocked all along, but how could that be?

As I continued to feel his hand in mine I remembered all that he had done, I remembered the day that he had come and shattered the locks. But this does not make any sense I thought to myself, how could this be? As if reading my mind he showed me the firm hold that I had on my chains. How I felt safe and secure with them on and did not want to let them go.

Tearfully I turned to him with out-stretched arms and asked him to take them off completely. A scream escaped my lips as they were pulled from my wrist and he began to wrap the wounded flesh. Compassion, love and peace were placed where bitterness, hate and anger had been.

He had exchanged my chains of lies for truth and love. Scars still remain and are reminders of what he has brought me through. The hurt and pain will not soon be forgotten. My chains are gone and I have been set free, no matter how many times I might pick up the chains again they can no longer hold me.